saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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