i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
