i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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