I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Randomize
