she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
