Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
