i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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