i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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