There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
