i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
