I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
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Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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