Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
