I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
