i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
