I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
