I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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