so explain again why im purple
no
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
