exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
