We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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