her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
