I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize