i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie