out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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