shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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