you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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