Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
