It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
