i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
