i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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