things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
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it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
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I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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