After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
