the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My vagina is very pro this idea
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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