Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
