the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
