quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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