gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
