You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How does one acquire holy water?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
