My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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