so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
