I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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