im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
