is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
