dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
