take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
