I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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