You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
