She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
