I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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