just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
