You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
