Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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