ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
