I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
