he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
