so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
