he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
dude. I can hear the air.
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