Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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