You're my little dorito
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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