finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My ATM looks so different sober.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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