Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
