new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
