the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
