She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
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I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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